Ever go on a date where your date tried to posture? You detected it instantly. 

Remember back in time. Your date showed you—he/she was attracted to you. But you weren’t sure. Yet. Then, suddenly, you were.

This person was not a match.

Maybe because they started caring about earning your attraction—too much. They were trying too hard.

Meeting a customer for the first time is the same. Subconsciously signaling “I want you to respect me” is the kiss of death in business.

The moment you start caring too much you risk being seen as desperate or needy by prospects.

It’s the same with your cold emails, LinkedIn connection requests, InMails and voicemails. The best connection request is no request. The best meeting request is no request. You’ve got to give it time. You’ve got to create an urge for the prospect to want it… for their own selfish reason.

Sales is courtship. Nothing screams “I’m trying to persuade” you louder than trying to establish credibility. Posturing to impress.

Reach into your email. Do it now. Seriously. Look for that latest spam email. The one from someone who wrote in a way that screams, “I know you won’t believe me… so here is research from a credible source… to convince you to talk about buying my thing.”

It shouldn’t take long to fish one out. Or maybe I’ve just described your email technique.

Truth is, most field and inside sales teams are advised to establish credibility when writing cold emails. “Without being seen as credible, your email will be deleted by prospects.”

Simply. Not. True.

Without being provocative your email will get deleted. You don’t need credibility yet. Save it for when your prospect is evaluating you. For now, provoke a discussion that could lead to a desire to examine your credibility.

Your email message doesn’t need to be credible–as much as it needs to be relevant, authentic (not cut-and-pasted mass spam) and provocative.

Trying to establish credibility–too early–sabotages the chance to get conversations started.

Avoid falling into the trap. Avoid writing to be seen as credible from cold.

Stop posturing. You’ll look too needy, too persuasive. There’s a better way.

Just like on a first date, stop talking about yourself. That’s a start.

But you’ll also need to throw out other “word patterns” and negative trigger words like love, “I look forward to” and even words like please and thank you. We work on DO-ing (not just theorizing) in the Spark Selling Academy. 

Take a step. It will save you time—and a lot of bad dates!